How does a mom of eight get it all done?
It wasn't my plan to have a large family but God's. I can't tell you how many times I've asked Him how I am supposed to do this "large family thing." I grew up with two brothers. When I had my fourth child, I was overwhelmed with the massive size of our family! Then 5?! Mario and I had FOUR hands between the two of us. How were we going to survive with 5? The more kids we had, the more comfortable strangers seem to feel making comments, too.
"I could never do it. Three (or any number 1-5) kids are hard enough!"
"You must have so much patience!"
"I can't handle the (1-4 kids) that I have!"
I'm sure there are plenty of other comments that I've heard over the years as our family has grown. How would I answer?
First of all, it was hard when I had 1-5 too, and 6, and 7, and 8. Life with little kids is just hard sometimes no matter how many you have! Once they pass the line of being more helpful and less work, life starts to get easier for everyone.
Second, yes, I do have a lot of patience. I didn't have as much as I have now when the first 5 kids were little, and my patience is growing still. The funny thing about life being incredibly overwhelming with little ones around, is that your patience grows. I'm not as surprised as I used to be when my preschooler does something extremely childish. Children act childish because they are children! Do I ever get stressed out? YES, and more often than I'd like to admit! Most of the time, if I'm stressed out, it's because I haven't been managing my time well. Although, too often, I've wasted time and fallen behind, there have been other times I've just overbooked. Saying "Yes" too often has had me scrambling to get everything done in Super Mom speed.
So then, how do we "get it all done", be the Super Mom, make everyone happy? In reality, we don't. No mother "does it all." Sorry to burst your bubble if you thought I do. I don't. I'm okay with it, you should be too. I do as much as I can, and that has to be enough. Here's a list of secrets that help things go smoothly in our house...
1. Kids NEED chores from about the age of three, even if you have one or two children. Don't expect them to suddenly grow a good work ethic if they've sat back and been served their entire lives. Not only do they need to learn to serve, but as they get older they will not only be able to take care of themselves, they'll be able to take care of others. If I didn't spend time training my kids, this is what my chore list would look like: (These are all chores that the kids currently have assigned to them, and they help make the list.)
Clean Upstairs and Downstairs bathroom, Sweep living room, hall, and dining room, Sweep kitchen, Take out garbage and recycling, Laundry, Make lunch, Wash lunch dishes, Clean family room, Clean school room, Vacuum living room, Fold clothes
Take the time to teach them how to do it right. I don't require perfection, I just expect them to do a decent job. When we all work together we have the house clean in no time! As the saying goes, many hands make light work.
2. Plan a menu. It doesn't have to be done for the entire month at a time. Start out with a week. Another option is to make a list of meals that you can make with the ingredients you have on hand. Then when you're making supper tonight, check the list, and plan what you will make tomorrow. It's hard to plan a healthy meal 30 minutes before you plan to serve it.
3. Organize hand-me-downs by size and gender. I have filing cabinets in my storage room that have a different size clothing in each drawer. When it's time for little junior to go up to the next size, we "go shopping" in the storage room before we head to the store. Sometimes we don't even need a trip to the store!
4. Learn to say "No!" Not to your kids, although they can benefit from hearing it too. It's the adults in our lives that mom's have a hard time with. Mom's have enough stuff to feel guilty about. Don't feel guilty about making your family a priority especially if you have little ones at home! When I had my 7th child I was so overwhelmed. My older kids hadn't quite reached the more helpful than not stage of life and I was really feeling my age physically. I was suffering and my family was suffering. I stepped back from serving at church. It was just so difficult to get the whole family TO church, but stepping back was the Hardest. Thing. Ever. But, oh, was it worth it. We only have so much time in a day. Decide how much time you can spend outside of your family and say no to the rest. I am back to serving in church and absolutely love it! I'm so thankful that I took a break when I needed it most.
5. Plan to be early. I try to leave the house 30 minutes before any appointment in town. In my town it takes 10 - 15 minutes to get to the other side of town, but with children EVERYTHING takes longer. I'm not comfortable showing up late, so 30 minutes allows for tantrums, lost gloves or shoes, potty emergencies, and so on. We still end up late on occasion, but not very often.
Well, I'm sure it's not a complete list but hopefully you got a glimpse of how we manage our overflowed life!
If you have any questions or comments I'd love to hear them